Consider: Whenever he was so fortunate as to have him near him a hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead.
- Thomas Babington Macaulay, “Samuel Johnson”
Discuss:
1.) What effect does the detail( the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader?
2.) How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
1- The details of the spoiled hare and the rancid butter give a tense mood and make the reader feel what the character is feeling. Me being the reader makes me feel disgusting and uncomfortable.
2- It would lack the vivid details of “veins swelling with such violence” and “the moisture on his forehead”.
Apply: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
The man eyed the dish as the waitress arrived, the giant steaming hamburger lay defenseless on the table, and without hesitation he devoured the burger.
Detail: B
Consider: An old man, Don Tomasito, the baker, played the tuba. When he blew into the huge mouthpiece, his face would turn purple and his thousand wrinkles would disappear as his skin filled out.
- Alberto Alvaro Rios, “The Iguana Killer”
Discuss:
1.) The first sentence is a general statement. How does the second enrich and intensify the first?
1. It allows you to picture what the character is actually doing while he is performing the action of blowing through the tuba.
2.) Contrast the second sentence with the following.
When he blew the tuba, his face turned purple and his cheeks puffed out.
2. I think that the original second sentence is better because it shows how the wrinkles fill out when he fills his mouth with air. Without the detail of the wrinkly face it lacks the details.
Which sentence more effectively expresses an attitude toward Tomasito? What is that attitude and how is it communicated?
Apply: Describe someone jumping over a puddle. Your first sentence should be general, stating the action simply. Your second sentence should clarify and intensify the action through detail. Share your sentence with a partner.
Detail: C
Consider: CHARLEY(to WILLY): Why must everybody like you? Who liked J.P. Morgan? Was he impressive? In a Turkish bath he’d look like a butcher. But with his pockets on he was very well liked. Now listen, Willy, I know you don’t like me, and nobody can say I’m in love with you, but I’ll give you a job because – just for the hell of it, put it that way. Now what do you say?
- Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Discuss:
1.) Who was J.P. Morgan? What is a Turkish bath? What picture comes to mind when someone is said to look like a butcher? How do these details contribute to the point Charley is trying to make?
J.P. Morgan was a rich banker who is now dead. A Turkish bath is like a sauna. When I think of someone looking like a butcher they appear fat, hairy and ugly. He is trying to say that he has all of the money in the world but he is still fat, ugly, and hairy.
2.) How would the passage be different if Charley said J.P. Morgan would look like a baker in a Turkish bath?
The passage would be different because the image of a baker is much cleaner and makes the character look better than a butcher.
Apply: Think of someone famous and powerful. Use detail to create an unflattering but accurate description of the physical appearance of this famous person. Model your description on Miller’s description of J.P. Morgan. Share your description with a partner.
Detail: D
Consider: To those who saw him often he seemed almost like two men: one the merry monarch of the hunt and banquet and procession, the friend of children, the patron of every kind of sport; the other the cold, acute observer of the audience chamber or the Council, watching vigilantly, weighing arguments, refusing except under the stress of great events to speak his own mind.
- Winston Churchill, “ King Henry VIII,” Churchill’s History of the English- Speaking People’s
Discuss:
1.) Churchill draws attention to the contrasting sides of Henry VIII through detail. How is the impact of this sentence strengthened by the order of the details’ presentation?
Churchill draws attention with a list of details that start with the positive details to negative details about the king.
2.) What is Churchill’s attitude toward Henry? What specific details reveal this attitude?
Churchill has a negative attitude towards Henry VIII because he explains all of the negative details about him like “other the cold, acute observer of the audience chamber or the Council, watching vigilantly, weighing arguments, refusing except under the stress of great events to speak his own mind.” Those negative details show his attitude is negative towards him.
Apply: Think of someone you know who has two strong sides to his/her personality. Using Churchill’s sentence as a model, write a sentence which captures – through detail – these two sides. Share your sentence with a partner.
Detail: J
Consider:
About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Master: how well they understood
It’s human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
- W. H. Auden, “Musee des Beaux Arts”
Discuss:
1.) Suffering is a general term. What is a general term that sums up the detail in line 4?
One term you could use Is lazy.
2.) Compare line 4 with the following:
While someone else is not suffering;s
Why is Auden’s line more effective? This is more effective because you can directly relate to doing normal things instead of just saying that someone is suffering.
Apply: Substitute the word laziness for suffering in line one of the poem. Now rewrite line four to complete the following:
While someone else is ______ or ______ or ______.
Your new line should give details about the opposite condition of laziness. Use Auden’s line as a model.